Please write more. -susylindskov
A few months ago, susylindskov left a comment on my previous blog (12:16). I clicked on her username and it revealed pages of love letters from a mother, to her son. One after the other were blogs filled with vulnerability, honesty and trial. I couldn’t find the words for a proper response, so I wrote this instead.
to mute the voice from within.
to swallow the fears that hide beneath my skin.
to distort the dreams that await.
to rush the beating of time.
I detach myself from you.
Because I don’t want to deal with this, right now.
This too shall pass.
You will heal,
And fear will be a distant memory.
You will scream,
to exert your passion.
You will eat,
to enjoy the fruits of this world.
You will drink,
to quench the thirst of your soul.
You will smoke,
to breathe life into your lungs.
And you will live, because I’ve chosen to love you.
I attach myself to you.
Unconditional. -Finding Alfred
7:30 PM, 3 months later, I have found 2 words -thank you.
Remember when we were young and our parents would tell us, “you can be whoever you want to be.” Does that still stand today? Hello btw, its been a while. I’ll catch you up in a few seconds, but for now, hello.
What if they were High School sweethearts, and life just had to happen. Their dreams detoured, to make room for a new destiny. Its humbling to think our parents were at the same place we are in, just a few decades ago. How did their journey go? Did they achieve what they set out for? I used to believe we had perfectly laid out stories that were beautifully written and all we had to do was, “live.” But to be honest, I don’t know.
I auditioned for “American Idol” exactly 6 weeks and 1 day ago. I wasn’t accepted. I waited 10 hours, stood for 8, had a flat tire and developed a cold. “I fought like a mother, though!”
I wanted to write my story, I was going to be the next American Idol. Unfortunately, life happened. I was directed to a vague idea of my present moment. I was confused, “I still am.” But maybe this is my present moment, writing this, while realizing my struggles have shaped the person I am today.
All is, that is. -FindingAlfred
Surviving your personal storm.
Bask in the rawness that is life
It’s not perfect.
Its not supposed to be. Continue reading
Like a little bird in a wooden vessel.
I try to escape sometimes, those are my good days. Continue reading
At my brothers…
I was frying garlic to start of a dish for lunch.
My mother was preparing the meat a few feet away from me.
It dropped so far down my stomach I felt sick.
The room started to get so small I couldn’t breathe.
It all started to fade.
I stormed towards the window.
Panic attack. -Finding Alfred
6:50 PM P.S. Stop focusing on the sad, the happy has been waiting for you to take its picture.
Hi, I’m Cris.
I’ve been feeling suffocated lately because I feel I’m running out of time to accomplish my dreams.
Well why am I starting a blog, you say?
Simple. Continue reading